Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
