Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
