you turned your livingroom into a bong?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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