Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
