His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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