dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
