go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
