Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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