Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
