I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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