You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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