Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
