they need to just BURY HIM!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
