Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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