Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
