Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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