I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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