You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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