just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
