Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
