dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm really busy with my period
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