Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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