this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
