i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
