Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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