His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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