I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
