I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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