Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
