So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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