I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
