Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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