Already got asked if we're dating
Fuck appropriateness.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
