wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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