My room smells like vodka and shame
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
