In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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