plz talk dirty to me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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