I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
