thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
