Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
