mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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