Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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