I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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