I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
