He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
