yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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