I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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