I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
