I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
