Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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