hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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