hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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